Posts Tagged ‘mourning’

This week has been a rough and tough one. It started out fine and dandy until Tuesday hit.

Adaleigh and I we’re already in the house most of Sunday and Monday because of the cold weather and having absolutely no spending money whatsoever, but Tuesday was Alex’s payday! So that afternoon we got ready, got in the car to head to Target and then make plans to visit family in South GA… and absolutely nothing happened when I turned the key in the ignition! Ugh! So I waited til Alex got home from work that night at like 11pm and begged him to stand in the freezing weather and try to jump start my car. Still nothing. Then I begged him more to take the battery out and bring it to O’Reilly Auto Parts the next day. Ha! That didn’t happen! He didn’t get around to taking the battery to the store until Friday!!! Yes, Friday! I spent 4+ days at home with Adaleigh with no form of transportation (except when Alex was home late at night and I was too tired to go anywhere). I thank God that it was just the battery though. $85 later and my car is good as new (sort of).

Tuesday was also the day that my battery charger on my computer died. WTH. Yes, ladies and gents… I was home all week without a car AND without my laptop! Thank the Lord for my iPhone. You can only imagine how much cleaning I got done, how many times I had to play dress up with Adaleigh, read books, and do everything else I should do on a regular basis but I don’t because I have the internet and shopping to distract me! LOL. Not sure if that’s funny, but I’ll laugh to make light of my addictions. Unfortunately, I still don’t have a charger… I ordered one off eBay. I’m crossing my fingers it’s a good one because I got it for $30 instead of the retail price of $80. Hey, I gotta do anything to save money at this point! In the meantime… I have Alex’s laptop at night to catch up on my TV shows (another thing we don’t have… cable).

Anyways, as much as I just complained about the inconveniences I had this week… it was quite refreshing. I totally realize that I’m addicted to my computer and spend way too much time on it. And I’m definitely hopeless without getting out of the house everyday. BUT nevertheless, I enjoyed my time spent with Adaleigh just hanging out all week. It was, in fact, wonderful!

But Thursday came too soon. I got a phone call that morning from my MIL who was staying in South GA with her stepdad (Alex’s grandpa Bud) who had been in the hospital since before Thanksgiving. I missed the call and she didn’t leave a message, so I assumed she was just checking in. That afternoon I called Alex while he was at work and he informed that Bud had passed away that morning. My heart sank. And to be honest, I’m not sure my heart has come back up for breath yet. Like I said, Bud had been in the hospital for 2 months and we never got a chance to go down there and visit. We thought he was doing better and was gonna get out so we held off while Alex was working 24/7. Then, when Bud took a turn for the worst last week, I planned to take Adaleigh with me to visit him… but of course we were negative on our bank account (so embarrassing to admit! This NEVER happens, though I can totally blame Alex because I don’t touch our bank account since I quit working in Sept. LOL) until Tuesday’s payday. And you know what happened on Tuesday… damn my car!!!

So as I type this, my eyes are full of tears. I’ve already broke down twice, today alone. I can’t believe I didn’t manage a way to get to the hospital to say goodbye. I feel absolutely terrible. Bud was such a great guy… only 66 years old. I wasn’t really “close” to him, but we saw him once every 2-3 months. We always hung out at my in-law’s house… watched TV, went out to eat, just sat around. There were so many opportunities to get to know him, but I never did. So for that, I am sorry. It’s so easy to take the people around you for granted because you know you’re gonna see them again, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.

Adaleigh with her great grandpa Bud... Aug of '08

This is one of Bud's high school pictures.

Bud was an awesome racer. This was his passion. Can't you see it on his face? He loved it!

I remember soon after Alex and I started dating in college (in FL), ironically one of Alex’s other grandpa’s had passed away and he had to leave for GA to make it to the funeral that weekend. I remember him having to drive through the night, so I planned to stay on the phone with him for most of the drive (we would’ve stayed up all night talking even if he wasn’t driving). Well, Alex made it 2 hours away and his car broke down. I don’t remember the technicalities, but I just remember him saying he had to go so he could call his Grandpa Bud. He said Bud would know what to do… he knows nearly everything about cars. That was the first time I learned about Bud. His passion was racing cars. I thought that was so neat. Sure enough, it was something wrong with the clutch and Bud knew exactly what Alex needed to do to rig the car enough to make it to GA, but told him he needed to get it fixed professionally later.

One of the best memories I have of him, though, was October of 2008. A bunch of us rented 2 cabins in South GA off Lake Blacksheer. It was a great weekend! I remember him always wanting to fish off the dock the whole weekend, but most of us stayed inside. Right before we were about to leave, we were looking for everyone to say our goodbyes. Of course, we found him out on the dock by himself, cane pole in hand. Alex, Adaleigh, and I went to say goodbye, but instead we stayed out there on that dock for nearly an hour. We really had to get on the road, but I just couldn’t leave yet. I just knew it was making his day that someone actually wanted to fish with him. So we all sat, talked, and waited for a bite. We didn’t care if we caught a fish (and I don’t think he did either)… he was just so glad we were spending some time doing what he loved and wanted to do. It was so relaxing, so beautiful out there. It was wonderful, so peaceful.

So thankful my MIL had this picture of him!

That’s how I will remember him… on that dock, fishing… so at peace.


Bud, you are loved and missed. Tomorrow we will celebrate your life and all the joys you brought to ours!


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